The Unclad Soul

Here in this happy season of enraged shoppers and rude store clerks and Target’s phenomenal credit card security system, there is the real spirit of Christmas. It goes something like this. Work with other nations? Why do we need them? We have no need of them. They’re all primitive countries with terrorists and taxes and people of other colors and strange cultures who don’t even observe Christmas. Who can understand a thing they say anyway. Other countries are useless. God bless America. Obamacare? Good Lord no. We don’t need that. If people are stupid enough to get sick then let them figure out how to get well on their own. I don’t want my tax dollars helping other people. The Bible says help yourself, or something like that. Stop war. Are you kidding? Wars are great. Some of the best movies ever made in this country are war movies. John Wayne is still a hero here. Did you not ever see “The Longest Day” for God’s sake? And besides, who gives a flip about the Germans, ...

As I get older Christmas changes. For one thing, the cheeriness of the season seems to get more and more lost in the annoyance of the shopping frenzy. Every year brings a new disgrace from the conduct of those shoppers who turn Christmas into a battle zone of mall derangement. And there’s Black Friday. And retail stores with 18 hour schedules. And sale’s wars. These things make Christmas preposterous. Why not make it a rule that everyone gets $100 of Christmas shopping money per year and no more. And nothing goes on sale. No bargain bins or price cuts. Everything stays the same as always. The stores all keep their usual hours. People might then decide to only get one nice gift for someone and then perhaps make the rest of their gifts. People might actually think about what gift or gifts they give. People might even get creative and shop in remote little places where there are items no one has and people have not endlessly handled. People might stay home more and enjoy the pre ...