The Unclad Soul

I did not grow up being challenged to think for myself, about other races, about other religions, about anything that was different from or opposite of the ideas, beliefs, and values of my parents. My parents were loving and sincere, but fear guided their beliefs and their behavior. Fear of God’s punishment, fear of wrongdoing before the church, fear of what others thought about them, and so on. And that fear was communicated to me and my siblings. And it shaped, as is the case in most homes, how I viewed myself and the world. It was a confining and strict influence that often filled me with fears as well. This kind of parenting was common in my day, though I did have friends whose parents were much more lenient, open-minded, not fearful of others or new ideas, but willing to think through things and see a different perspective. I readily noticed that in those friends and their parents. Publicly, I spoke against them, saying they were liberal, or not real Christians, ...

In her searing memoir, “Hope Against Hope,” Nadezhda Mandelstam wrote, “I decided it is better to scream.” Then she wrote, “Silence is the real crime against humanity.” She knew something about pain, horror, death. Her husband, a gifted poet, suffered endless persecution under Stalin. He died on his way to the Siberian gulag, humiliated and alone in the cold. She tells his story of sorrow in her memoir. After this week’s school murders in Santa Fe, Texas, even screaming seems useless. And though silence, too, is no solution, and worse, very well a crime in the face of so much bloodshed, one is nevertheless left in feelings of stone silence. What else can be said? We’re all tired of the empty religious jumble. Prayers and accepting God’s Will and all of that. Doesn’t work for me. It blasphemes anyone’s true faith. Our politicians have lost all sense of reality. They live in some cocoon of their own making, hiding from these horrific, senseless, obscene killings. Th...

I fight like crazy these days to refrain from cynicism. I am by nature a pretty pleasant person. I want to see good in everyone. I love to laugh, to feel joy, to delight in life. I try to manage my anger, take a deep breath, and stay calm. It doesn’t always work. For instance, I’m thinking now how I would rather watch every tedious moment of the entire Royal Wedding than to have had to watch five seconds of the celebration of moving our American Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem and listening to Dallas pastor Robert Jeffress pray. I have thoughts on that. But I’m holding back. They are not kind thoughts. They stir in me that image that Nick Lowe sings about, “The beast in me is caged by frail and fragile bars.” I’m trying to hold the locks in place. I have Jewish friends that I cherish. I honor them and their faith. Judaism is a historic system of beautiful beliefs. But what has gone on in Israel under the leadership of Benjamin Netanyahu is something I find grossly offen...

President Trump has not yet made the transition from Real Estate mogul to a political world leader. And it’s not certain he will ever be able to do that. A man his age is usually settled into the person he is from here on out and it’s all but impossible to make drastic changes. And drastic changes are needed. The world of high-end real estate, huge commercial building construction, casinos, hotels, and whatever other kinds of structures Mr. Trump can add his name to, is a far cry from the arena of world politics. There are at odd times glimpses that president Trump might actually have serious thoughts about how people should be treated and helped. But those get lost in his notoriously checkered history and in his perplexing persona. In the cut-throat universe of gigantic real estate projects, Mr. Trump established himself as a player. The massive buildings with his name emblazoned on them have successfully hidden the many failed and, as many have suggested, corrupt business de...

Now that the murdering of 17 students at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School, in Parkland, Florida, has more fully registered on us, most Americans remain stunned. We are stunned that in this country of ours we still have a government that refuses to do anything about gun violence. The flimsy, tone deaf comments of politicians about this horror seem worthless. They are finally starting to talk about mostly cosmetic changes in the law but I’m skeptical of anything significant. We are stunned that our president has been mostly silent, unwilling or incapable of a simple sign of outrage over the senseless massacre of helpless teenagers at school. He is beginning to make gestures about passing new legislation, but I'm waiting to see if any changes are made. We are stunned that an organization like the NRA (National Rifle Association) has the unlimited power to dominate and control our elected legislators. We are stunned by our political leaders’ greed and their cowardice. We are ...

In general, but not in particular, because there are many opposite examples, but generally speaking, we are a nation of lazy, greedy citizens. Our laziness resides in the fact that we continue, year after drubbing year, to tolerate a Congress that is 98% corrupt and in the pockets of huge corporations, including Wall Street banks and the giant tech companies, not to mention the entire network of media communications. Our indifference to the blathering incompetence and the arrogant disregard of representative government by so many senators and House members in both parties is staggering. That we as a people allow this says something alarming about our character. Leo Tolstoy, the brilliant Russian novelist, once wrote in one of his many essays, “ If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”...

There is a brokenness in our society, a pervasive moral collapse, a reckless disregard for community, neighborliness, courtesy, and compassion. Our government leads by this example. Both parties are incompetent to guide us into a more responsible living, into a serviceable structure of humanity. Our leaders are dominated by greedy oligarchs who don’t just want more, they want everything, even if it costs our society its dignity, its soul, even its future. What is on display here daily is a wretched lack of self-esteem. The loss now influences all of us. We’re all affected in ways that keep us shamed by our actions. When we feel powerless, aimless, without any higher goals than the accumulation of things and the momentary thrill, we then mute our intelligence. We live by raw emotions—anger, appetite, urges. We don’t think, we don’t consider, we merely react. We push. We disregard. We threaten. We act out. And we fail. Self-esteem is a learned process. It builds on gen...

If I could, I would Stop all the wars And heal all the sores And give the less more And free the bored And individualize the hoard If I could If I could, I would Have all women revered And all children loved And the old honored And the sick well And the disabled cheered And the foreigner welcomed If I could If I could, I would Enact gay rights around the world And celebrate them as whole And give them freedom To be who they are And embrace them into The family of you and me If I could If I could, I would Empty Congress of its politicians And fill it with teachers And Poets And writers; With artists And sculptors; With farmers And ranchers; With animal lovers And stargazers; With gardeners And fishermen If I could If I could, I would Remove all bigotry And prejudice of every kind And put the redneck and the whitey and the Confederate flagger and the bully cop and the crooked judge and the ...

Best-selling author, Jungian analyst, and post-trauma recovery professional, Clarissa Pinkola Estés, has written, “Asking the proper question is the central action of transformation—in fairy tales, in analysis, and in individuation. The key question causes germination of consciousness. The properly shaped question always emanates from an essential curiosity about what stands behind. Questions are the keys that cause the secret doors of the psyche to swing open.” This is the essence and the work of psychotherapy. A properly framed question can probe one’s deepest inner spaces and dislodge a revealing answer. But let’s broaden the scope a bit. More than the work of therapists, physicians, and psychiatrists, thoughtful questions offer all of us insights and discoveries we may or may not be aware of. We live in a time of flimsy answers. Our politicians are not interested in questions. They only want to provide their own solutions, even though they may be unworkable and unwante...

I was talking with a friend at work this week about the Las Vegas atrocity. Like everyone else in America, we both remain stunned by such a horrifying and cowardly taking of human life. My friend, deeply disturbed by it all, said, “Are we all capable of such a thing?” I thought a moment and said, “I think we may be.” He put his hands over his face and said, “Oh God, I don’t want to hear THAT!” I don’t want to hear it either, but he asked an important question. How does a seemingly rational person do what Stephen Paddock did? He was apparently not previously some deranged serial killer. We now know he seemed to have a pretty normal life. It is said he was not friendly or engaging, but there is no indication he was the monster he turned out to be. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the famous creator of the Sherlock Holmes series, a trained physician and himself a serious student of human behavior, once commented about the puzzling conduct of criminals. He said, “The most winning woman...

At the age of 66, novelist and poet May Sarton, was diagnosed with breast cancer, went through a mastectomy, ended a long time relationship, and suffered from depression. Out of that she wrote one of her best books, Recovering: A Journal . She was obviously hurt and angry about all that had happened to her. But she was determined to understand what it meant and how she should respond. She struggled through every raw emotion in an attempt to remain human. “We cannot withdraw love without damaging ourselves,” she wrote. “Rage,” she continued, “is the deprived infant in me but there is also a compassionate mother in me and she will come back with her healing powers in time.”  It is a message of hope for the country. There is so much cold anger today; so much unacknowledged hurt and pain. You see it everywhere. You feel it from people in traffic, at store counters, and certainly on social media platforms, especially Twitter and Facebook. Some things there are vicious a...

I am making my way through the AMC Mad Men series. I saw the original series when it first came out almost ten years ago. Now I’m watching it again on Netflix. I knew what I was in for. Since the presidential election I have been trying to better understand myself, others, and my country. The ugly bitterness of the election left me emotionally exhausted, and frankly, disappointed in people in general. I didn’t follow the chaos on Twitter, but Facebook was a primeval jungle of crude squabbling, angry rants, malicious name calling, and endless acts of blocking and unfriending people. Some of them relatives and close friends. So after all of that, I decided to wander into Mad Men, the perfect setting for seeing the absolute worst in human hurt, pettiness, jealously, manipulation and betrayal. I thought that there, I might get some understanding of why, in certain circumstances, we sink, almost unconsciously and hopelessly, into such abysmal and damaging behavior. Don Draper, ...

Someone on Facebook recently suggested, in a post comment, that I was not voting for Hillary Clinton because I may be afraid of strong women. The person does not know me and I have never met her. She made her comment to a friend of mine on his post in response to something I had said about Clinton. Anyone who actually knows me knows how wrong that comment is. And it’s irritating that many people seem to think if you don’t vote for Hillary you either hate her or you are afraid of women. Even if you denounce Trump, as I have done again and again, and say you aren’t voting for him, as I have said, you’re still suspect. The notion that if you’re not voting for Hillary something must be wrong with you and you have some kind of issue with women, is simply shortsighted and wrong. I have long supported the rights of women, blacks, gays, immigrants, veterans, and others who are often left out of any real discussion about equal rights, justice, and respect for them from the government a...

I have friends who are supporting Donald Trump who have posted a few times on my Facebook page. They believe that I sympathize with them in certain ways. And I do. I understand where they are coming from. I share their frustration. And I’m glad they have posted comments. I want to hear their thoughts. I welcome them. I have friends who are supporting Hillary Clinton who seem bewildered that I am not on board with them and with her. I get that, too. I’m a liberal Democrat and they think I should be supporting Clinton. But, I’m not. Friends are irritated about that. That’s okay; I still want them to comment. I want to hear them as well. We don’t have to fully accept each other’s viewpoints or beliefs or politics in order to be friends. But we should be willing to at least listen to one another and allow each one of us our thoughts without judgment, anger, resentment, or condemnation. And certainly without hate. Thankfully, my friends do this. Hillary supporters believe Dona...