After some considerable thought, well, that’s not quite right. But anyway. I have decided to support Rick Santorum for president should he get the nomination. Here are the reasons why: 1. Back to basics. Mr. Santorum wants to take us back far past the Internet, the computer, the typewriter, the telegraph, the TV, the radio, smoke signals, and all other forms of human communication that might in some way tempt us into anything immoral. We need a leader like that. Someone with a clear vision of what’s right and what’s wrong so that we will only communicate with one another in holy words from pure souls. 2. Contraceptives. Here’s the problem in this country. As Mr. Santorum suggests, women are just being too needy of things relating to their bodies and whatnot. If Eve had listened to Adam in the Garden and simply let him pick all of the fruit while she did all the cooking then we wouldn’t even need contraceptives. Right? Sex probably wouldn’t even exist and we wouldn’t have
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