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The Urgent Pull of My Wants

I don’t want to discuss President Obama’s speech to the nation about dealing with ISIS. I’m so weary with war. I don’t want to hear Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell launch another arrogant attack against the president. I don’t want to see any more beheading videos. I don’t want to watch people being swallowed up in floods and typhoons and mountain slides. I don’t want to hear anymore petty whining about defenseless children coming here from vicious countries hell bent on abusing and killing them. I don’t want any more lectures from Republican Congress members about how horrible everything is in the nation when they won’t lift a finger to do a damn thing about any of it. I don’t want to watch another unarmed young black man being shot to death by a gang of cowardly white cops. I don’t want to see anymore senseless beatings by bullying rogue cops. I don’t want to see anymore backward hillbilly racist Ferguson, Missouri’s. I don’t want to view another video of a pampered rich football player beating the daylights out of his wife or girlfriend and then calmly looking at her like she was a sack of rocks. And I don’t want to hear anymore lame excuses from ditzy fans or anyone else defending that behavior. I don’t want to hear any more sanctimonious counterfeit Christians telling the rest of us how to live and vote and believe.

I want to be with laughing children. I want to hold the hand of someone hurting. I want to be in the presence of goodness. I want to hear the music of unity; somewhere, anywhere. I want my black friends to feel safe in this country and be given the human dignity they deserve. I want your children and grandchildren and mine to grow up in a country of moral depth, where intelligence is celebrated, civility is practiced, creativity is encouraged, and independent thinking is allowed. I want to see the ocean. I want to sit on a white sandy beach and be mesmerized by the dancing horizon. I want to be in the company of friends. I want to give and receive affection. I want to understand and respect my mortality. I want to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and my mouth gets sore and I cry great salty tears. I want to hug people who need hugging. I want to give something of myself that makes one person or many feel good about themselves and be open to loving more. I want to take time to watch and be appreciative of autumn arriving with its misty cloudy mornings and chilly nights. I want to be aware of the changing leaves and hallow their dazzling colors. I want to go down a long country road where the trees bend down to touch one another and shelter the passengers beneath. I want to take off across an open field and feel the wind on my face. I want to look out my window and see a thunderstorm brewing and hear the thunder rolling and watch the rain softly fall. I want to enter a church sanctuary and be lost in something sacred. I want to have something to be awed by and fall to my knees in wonder. I want to have more compassion, not more money. I want more meaningful learning, not more of the same old ideas and beliefs that have become useless and moth-eaten.

I want to follow the calling of the Persian poet Rumi: “Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.”


© 2014 Timothy Moody
       

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