I suppose nearly everyone has now heard of Keaton Jones, the Tennessee middle school boy whose mom’s video of him went viral.
Keaton apparently has had surgery for a cleft pallet that sometimes interferes with his speech and his appearance, although he’s a handsome boy with bright eyes.
After kids at school made fun of his nose, called him ugly, and said he didn’t have any friends, they then poured milk on him in the lunchroom. Broken hearted and ashamed, his mom came to school to pick him up.
Thankfully, celebrities and others have covered him with affirmation and offers of friendship. He knows now he’s not stupid or ugly. And what child doesn’t need to know that, always?
As parents, we have the moral and human responsibility to teach our children to treat all children with respect and care. I don’t know where the teachers or monitors were when this boy was being so mistreated, but the real responsibility for bullying others lies directly at the feet of those of us who are parents. No one else is to blame. If we don’t teach our children to be human and loving, compassionate and kind, they’re not likely to get it elsewhere.
While walking on the track behind my apartment complex this past weekend I saw a mother and her young teenage daughter walking. She had a couple of other small children playing out on the football field. The girl, beautiful, with long brown hair and deep blue eyes, had noticeable physical challenges. She was blind, for one thing, as her mom held her arm and guided her along the track. Sometimes the young teen would stop and drop her arms and stand still and make an unintelligible sound. Her mom would patiently take her hand and guide her again.
As I walked past them I slowed down, turned, and said, “Good morning.” They both smiled. The young girl’s face was turned skyward, her pretty eyes empty, but she was in possession of so much inner beauty.
I thought of what her life might be like. And how her mom and others in her family support her and love her and work to make her have normal experiences, like walking on a lovely winter morning. I wondered if she is treated kindly by the kids at school or in her neighborhood. I wanted to take their picture and post it here and honor them for getting out and exercising. But I didn’t want them to think I was making a spectacle of them, so I simply admired them from a distance. They so brightened my morning walk.
My grandson, Austin, has Down Syndrome. He’s the sweetest boy, full of life, with a heart churning with love and affection for everyone he meets. He’s inquisitive, funny, mischievous, and so open to being a boy growing and learning and making friends. His mom and dad, my son Caleb and my daughter-in-law Kameron, and their daughter and Austin’s sister, Avery, all make life wonderful for Austin. He is adored by them, by their friends, by neighbors and others and by me. He is growing up believing he has value and worth in spite of any challenges he faces. If he saw you and you were kind to him, he would hug you. And your heart would melt.
Most us, myself included, who are fortunate to have healthy bodies, often glide through life unaware of the unimaginable struggles other families and individuals have on a daily basis because of a child or a parent or a sibling who is in some way different. Their challenges are often quietly fought unseen and without fanfare.
What the rest of us can do is be aware, keep our hearts unrestricted by fears and prejudices and ignorance, be vigilant with everyone we meet, work with, and have interactions with to honor the deep human yearning within each of us to be treated with kindness, dignity, and understanding. And most importantly, to teach our children to do the same.
Psychologist Nathaniel Branden has said that our motive as human beings is “not to prove our worth but to live our possibilities.” Every child, teen, woman, and man, deserves nothing less.
© 2017 Timothy Moody
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