Reflection On Life

In the long search for life’s meaning, and its joy, there is stumbling and pause; error, setbacks, and defeat. There are times when, despite our best efforts, we never find the path, and we stay too long on the mistaken road.

There are times of deep anguish and a sense of loss that moves all the way into that space that defines us, and leaves us doubting our worth. Love for or from another that languishes and dies. The faded memories of a time when we thought there could be no end to the feelings of togetherness and rightness.

We learn the dreams and innocence of our youth are often replaced with the hard realities of adulthood. We discover that those blissful days when the world seemed safe and home was love and people were kind, don’t protect us from a world where it all can become phony, selfish, and mean. When others we trust, even love, betray our loyalty and leave us in something broken and pointless.

We experiment with relationships, with marriage, with intimacy, and though there is enormous potential there for beauty and fulfillment, sometimes things go wrong, sometimes quickly, sometimes over the distance of years. And so we seek comfort in things that numb us from our pain. Without realizing it, we often build invisible walls to isolate us from our feelings. But in time, they become apparent to all those we try to fend away. The walls do not keep out the fears that haunt us. They were never outside of us anyway.

This is life. And life instructs us in the process of growing up. And learning to toughen ourselves against our vulnerabilities, and, what we thought was our incorruptibility.

The toughening up can strengthen our self-esteem, create confidence, make us aware of the dangers of compromise, complicity, of being manipulated, misguided, and marginalized. Or, the toughening up can make us too salty, bitter and unpleasant. In our attempt to protect ourselves from hurt, from mistreatment, from being used, we grow to see only the worst in people. We allow skepticism to guide us. We let disdain creep into our spirit until it spreads everywhere.

This is no way to live.

The journey, if it unfolds as intended by whatever higher power gave it to us, will never keep from us the indestructible forces of love and goodness. Those forces are within all of us. And though they can be crippled and made temporarily inoperative, they never leave us. Their capacity for renewal can be quickly activated. And so, so often, they are. Incredibly. Amazingly. Love and goodness always survive. However small their strength, they can be fully engaged, so that life’s journey moves on with meaning, wonder, pleasure, and joy.

It has been said that each time we embrace someone warmly, we gain an extra day of life.

There is a vulnerability in that. There is also maturity and humanity. It’s what gives our journey through this existence purpose, and, the hope there are not only more, but better days ahead.

We are Made for Human Connection

There are words from Brandi Carlile’s song, “The Story,” that I might sing, and perhaps you, too. “All of these lines across my face Tell you the story of who I am So many stories of where I've been And how I got to where I am But these stories don't mean anything When you've got no one to tell them to” You don’t have to be single or alone to feel the depth of those words. Someone in a longtime marriage or relationship might feel them, too. The voyage through life takes each one of us through an assortment of experiences. Some of them ennoble us. Some crush us. Some lift us beyond ourselves and carry us into the lives of those who need us. And some carry us to those we need. Some experiences are burdens. Others ease and encourage us. Some leave us baffled and unsure. Some build confidence within us and are so affirming that we grow in substance, in courage, in tenderness, and sympathy. As we age, the lines in our faces can represent the hurts we have not yet resolved. Or t

If I had five minutes to evacuate--what would I take with me?

If I was told there was a bomb in my building and I had five minutes to evacuate my apartment I’d grab a grocery bag and quickly toss these items into it: 1. A photo of my grandparents, Mom and Pop and me, when I was 15 years old. I learned what love is made of from them. I learned what it is to be kissed on and hugged in arms so tender they felt like God’s arms. I discovered self worth from those two angels in human flesh. Of all the people in my life, they were the ones who made me feel I counted. Honestly, whatever capacity I have to love others came from them. 2. A sentimental, dog-eared, stars in the margin copy of Pat Conroy’s, “The Prince of Tides.” It is a book I have read three times and often return to for its wisdom. It is a harsh, profoundly tragic novel, the story of a family so broken and tortured by such flawed and wounded people that it is sometimes difficult to turn the next page. And yet it is the story of such Herculean courage and endurance that you want

Do we need a new country?

Have you seen the elaborate, stylish, opulent television commercial for Cartier? The original commercial seemed to go on forever, a full three minutes. They have shortened it now, but it still drips with ostentatiousness. It is conspicuously pretentious in spite of the beautiful music and the sleek panther and the stunning scenery and the elegant model dressed in a striking red gown. The commercial takes the viewer through an amazing montage of dreamy landscapes and famous cities and spectacular stunts while moving past a giant expensive watch and finally to a glittering diamond bracelet modeled by the woman in red. Each time I see it I keep wondering who the target audience is. It seems to be such an over the top expression of unbridled greed and materialism gone ape. In a time when much of the world is starving and millions are still out of work here at home it seems bizarre that Cartier would spend what has to be millions on a television commercial celebrating 165 years in

The Unclad Soul

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