In the long search for life’s meaning, and its joy, there is stumbling and pause; error, setbacks, and defeat. There are times when, despite our best efforts, we never find the path, and we stay too long on the mistaken road.
There are times of deep anguish and a sense of loss that moves all the way into that space that defines us, and leaves us doubting our worth. Love for or from another that languishes and dies. The faded memories of a time when we thought there could be no end to the feelings of togetherness and rightness.
We learn the dreams and innocence of our youth are often replaced with the hard realities of adulthood. We discover that those blissful days when the world seemed safe and home was love and people were kind, don’t protect us from a world where it all can become phony, selfish, and mean. When others we trust, even love, betray our loyalty and leave us in something broken and pointless.
We experiment with relationships, with marriage, with intimacy, and though there is enormous potential there for beauty and fulfillment, sometimes things go wrong, sometimes quickly, sometimes over the distance of years. And so we seek comfort in things that numb us from our pain. Without realizing it, we often build invisible walls to isolate us from our feelings. But in time, they become apparent to all those we try to fend away. The walls do not keep out the fears that haunt us. They were never outside of us anyway.
This is life. And life instructs us in the process of growing up. And learning to toughen ourselves against our vulnerabilities, and, what we thought was our incorruptibility.
The toughening up can strengthen our self-esteem, create confidence, make us aware of the dangers of compromise, complicity, of being manipulated, misguided, and marginalized. Or, the toughening up can make us too salty, bitter and unpleasant. In our attempt to protect ourselves from hurt, from mistreatment, from being used, we grow to see only the worst in people. We allow skepticism to guide us. We let disdain creep into our spirit until it spreads everywhere.
This is no way to live.
The journey, if it unfolds as intended by whatever higher power gave it to us, will never keep from us the indestructible forces of love and goodness. Those forces are within all of us. And though they can be crippled and made temporarily inoperative, they never leave us. Their capacity for renewal can be quickly activated. And so, so often, they are. Incredibly. Amazingly. Love and goodness always survive. However small their strength, they can be fully engaged, so that life’s journey moves on with meaning, wonder, pleasure, and joy.
It has been said that each time we embrace someone warmly, we gain an extra day of life.
There is a vulnerability in that. There is also maturity and humanity. It’s what gives our journey through this existence purpose, and, the hope there are not only more, but better days ahead.
© 2018 Timothy Moody
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