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Am I a Wimp?

Let me see if I can say this another way.

HELP!!

I’m trying. I’m trying like crazy to be reasonable about our country. What am I missing? What is it about our nasty national mood that seems okay with so many people?

Can we agree that it’s not a good way to live if we hate others? Can we say it’s alright to try and get along with people of another race, another religion than ours, a different sexual orientation, people from other countries and cultures? Isn’t that the smart thing to do? Or, if you like this better, the Christian thing to do?

Why is hate thought to be such a formidable force and love is considered weakness? What is it that makes us want to be macho, keep our guns close, to be seen as invincible, to be the badass in the crowd; while being a person of integrity, a man of character, a gentle person with compassion is seen as some kind of wimp, a pantywaist to be dismissed as a coward?

I can’t get that Old Testament verse out of my head, the one where the prophet Isaiah says to the people of Jerusalem: “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20, KJV).

Isn’t that where we are in dear old America? We’re ancient Jerusalem. We’re the Israelites lost in their abominations.

That passage begins with Isaiah talking about a vineyard where delicious grapes were planted but they turned sour and bitter. Because of such poor caretaking, the vineyard became useless. Then Isaiah said that was what was happening to Jerusalem. He compared them to that barren, fruitless vineyard.

Isaiah writes saying this of the owner, “He looked for a crop of justice and saw them murdering each other. He looked for a harvest of righteousness and heard only the moans of victims” (5:7, The Message).

There is a seemingly endless circle of revenge we’re all caught up in. Conservatives against Progressives. Straights against Gays. Cops against minorities. Republicans against Democrats. White supremacists against unprejudiced whites. Right-wing Christians against, well, just about everyone.

Back and forth we go, wrangling for our own position within the circle, only to be spinning nowhere. Or worse, spinning out of control.

Am I a bad person for wanting to have Black friends? Is there something wrong with me if I associate with LGBTQ people and welcome them as normal as anyone else? Do I have to follow your beliefs for you to accept me? Does it make me fragile and powerless if it disturbs me that Mexicans are caged and children separated from their families and used as political pawns?

There are some lines from a song by Gangs of Youths I want to live by:

“Break me off a piece of that
And mix it in with a little wine
With someone warm and smart I guess
With a heart in first
And a soul behind…
The heart is a muscle
I wanna make it strong”

Like old Isaiah, I’m weary of hearing and seeing those “who call evil good, and good evil.” I want to live by my heart. I want to live where love is honored. I don’t want to be some macho man. I just want to be a decent human. 


© 2019 Timothy Moody
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