Becoming Beautiful

The poet, Tyler Kent White has written,

“I promise

if you keep

searching

for everything

beautiful

in this world

You will

eventually

become it.”

It is a promise I cling to.

When I lived in Hamilton, Texas, a small town in the central part of the state, I often took to the countryside. When small-town life got to me—yes, there are political divides and social conflicts and elitism there, too--; when the strain of ministry seemed overwhelming to me because of unexpected deaths and divorces and fixed old beliefs and my own inner questions; I would hit the walking trail East of town. Or, I would drive through groves of trees along dirt roads out North across rickety bridges and the sight of grazing cattle on the other side.

I would bird hunt with friends and fish in the tanks on their property. I never killed anything I didn’t eat. But it wasn’t the hunting and the fishing that refreshed me, though I did enjoy it. It was simply being in the country, in nature, walking through high weeds, or across grassy fields. It was seeing spider webs in the morning dew and the sun shimmering across a pond. It was cool breezes in spring and cold days in winter on those treks, free in shirt sleeves or bundled in a flannel shirt and jacket, that made it all an environment of immunity from the stresses and distresses of life.

And in those experiences, I found so much beauty. Being with friends, talking, sharing, building relationships. That was beautiful, and those friendships remain to this day, though most of my older mentors are gone now into the mystery that is death.

Whatever it is that fills us with awe, that stuns us with how gorgeous earth is, that reminds us of the giant world so much larger than ourselves and our worries; whatever surprises us with human compassion and affection; whatever becomes beautiful in our sight; those are the things that create beauty within us.

Dutch gardener and design artist, Piet Oudolf, has said, "For me garden design isn't just about plants, it's about emotion, atmosphere, a sense of contemplation. You try to move people with what you do."

Oudolf has designed gardens in England and the U.S., in both Millennial Park in Chicago and the High Line in New York City. Photos of his designs are amazing. He has said, “You load yourself up with beauty and you are transformed in your work.”

Society is not only a jungle of corruption and evil, but there are also gardens of beauty all around us, if we care to look for and explore them.

That is a search I want to continue to my last days. And I hope at some point, to become the beauty I have seen and felt and known.

© 2019 Timothy Moody