What I Want in My Leaders

I did not grow up being challenged to think for myself, about other races, about other religions, about anything that was different from or opposite of the ideas, beliefs, and values of my parents.

My parents were loving and sincere, but fear guided their beliefs and their behavior. Fear of God’s punishment, fear of wrongdoing before the church, fear of what others thought about them, and so on. And that fear was communicated to me and my siblings. And it shaped, as is the case in most homes, how I viewed myself and the world.

It was a confining and strict influence that often filled me with fears as well.

This kind of parenting was common in my day, though I did have friends whose parents were much more lenient, open-minded, not fearful of others or new ideas, but willing to think through things and see a different perspective.

I readily noticed that in those friends and their parents. Publicly, I spoke against them, saying they were liberal, or not real Christians, or that they were simply wrong about things. But privately, I admired them. I was intrigued and even inspired by them. I wanted to know that kind of freedom, that kind of intellectual curiosity. I couldn’t articulate it at the time because I was just a teen. But as I got older, I knew it was a much healthier way of seeing myself and the world than the narrow and judgmental way I was taught.

Today, we are being parented by leaders in politics and religion who have that same old cramped, diminished, subjective, irrational and fearful way of viewing people and life. We are constantly being told of the sins of others and to see those people as less than ourselves. We are being taught to approach everyone and everything with fear, suspicion, and dread. There are no other options for us to consider. No other possibilities to see in those who hold new or different or more insightful ideas than our own.

This is a patriarchal, holier than thou, sanctimonious way of treating us. We are seen as children who must be molded into some kind of superior to others’ way of thinking and behaving. It is shaming and guilt-producing. It is damaging and dangerous. It goes against all the historic ideas of freedom, self-respect, and personal responsibility.

And, ironically, this kind of ruinous influence, which is promoted as exceptional, almost always ends in corruption, immorality, and abuse in the ugliest, most outrageous kind of conduct.

We see this day in and day out in society today. How disheartening it is to see our leaders betray our nation’s trust over and over again. To feel in our guts the depersonalization, the humiliating kind of treatment we are being given by those we elected or otherwise have chosen to guide us politically, spiritually, in ways that we hoped would inspire the best in ourselves.

What I want in my leaders, as I needed in my parents, is to have those who have high regard for education, for thinking, for healthy self-confidence, for the ability to ask questions and seek advice from a multitude of resources. I want them to revere freedom, to fight for the right to break out of the box and see people and the world with fresh eyes.

Thankfully, there are courageous, highly respected, thinking individuals in government who are coming forward to say they will not be a part of a narrow, domineering, corrupt system that manipulates facts and distorts the truth in order to achieve some political win.

I eventually grew out of my childhood fears and learned on my own, and with the inspiration of others, people I admired, to think for myself. To not be afraid of differences in others. To realize evil exists and not everyone is always good or decent, not even myself, but that we can all learn from each other. And that life was never intended to be confined to small-minded ideas and selfish behavior. But that it can be an amazing journey of self-discovery, gratitude, compassion, learning, sharing, and love.

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The Unclad Soul

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